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The Victorian Custom of Calling Cards

It is said that Anna, the 7th Duchess of Bedford originated the tradition of afternoon tea in 1800. By the 1860s, the upper class had made afternoon tea a social ritual, often serving it at 4 or 5 in the afternoon.

Etiquette mandated that Victorian ladies pay visits or social calls to each other, and "calling cards" (similar to business cards today), were necessary to keep track of these visits. There was an entire ritual of rules that pertained to social calls and the use of calling cards. For example, in most cases, there were specific visiting hours during which guests could visit.

Each caller was to leave a calling card in the 'card receiver" on the entry hall table. This way, not only the hostess, but other callers as well, could see who had been there. If the woman of the house was not at home at the time of the caller's visit, the caller would leave her card with the servant, turning down one corner of the card to indicated that it was delivered in person.

Calling cards were used to announce every important event, from weddings, to birth announcements, to deaths. it was customary that ten days following a funeral, visitors should leave calling cards with handwritten messages on them. Then, when the survivors were emotionally ready to receive guests, they would send out black-bordered cards. The thickness of the border indicated the relationship to the deceased. As time passed, the border became thinner and thinner, no matter the relationship, until at last, it disappeared all together.

Victorian society had very strict ideas about how people should behave towards one another. These rules or guidelines of morals and manners are called etiquette. They covered almost every possible human encounter including the practice of calling or visiting. In the days before the telephone was a common household item, individuals, both adults and children, wishing to visit a friend announced their arrival with a calling card given to the butler who answered the door.

A table at the front of the entrance hall would have a silver calling card tray on it. During the Victorian era, when a visitor knocked at the door of the mansion, a housekeeper would answer the door. The visitor would present a card with his/her name on it. While the visitor waited, the servant would deliver the card to the person the visitor wished to see.

If the person wanted to receive company, the visitor was allowed to enter the house and was escorted to the appropriate parlor. If the person did not want to receive company or was not at home, the calling card was left as a message that the visitor had come. The rules of etiquette of the time required that such a call be returned within three days.

Although the calling card usually supplied only the name of the caller, the following messages could be left to a person by using a system of folds:

Calling Cards System of Folds
If the top left corner was bent or torn, it was a social call.

If the top right corner was bent, it was a visit of congratulations, perhaps for a recent engagement, wedding, birth, or other good news.

If the bottom left corner was bent, it was a visit to say goodbye, as if the visitor were getting ready to go on a trip.

If the bottom right corner was bent, it was a visit of condolence, usually for a death in the family.

Source in part from: Victoriana "A to V" (Albert to Victoria)


Learn more about caling cards and victorian customs

Victoriana "A to V" (Albert to Victoria)
Gorgeous Stationery
(Gorgeous Stationery provides calling cards and the history of writing.)
What is a Calling Card